Why Internet Authors don't need surfers

Let's imagine what it would be like if an internet surfer read a novel in the same way they viewed the web. Just to make it interesting, let's imagine it's the sort of book I write, a murder mystery.

The surfer clicks on a page and finds that he's arrived at Chapter 5. He discovers the hero is already on the case, relentlessly pursuing the murderer of Imogen Halstead, rich heiress (Who? The surfer has no idea who this is, for a start). Worse, he has no idea why Inspector Chancely is there, and why he is letting our hero run the investigation. (Isn't it his job? He's the police!) Worser, the surfer has no idea why the little group (including a girl, don't forget the pretty girl!) is lurking in the basement of the Town Hall. Why are they there? How did they get in? Why do they have to be so quiet, and who are they waiting for?

In desperation, the surfer clicks ahead, to the final chapter. Scanning the page he finds answers to questions, (mainly the ones he hasn't asked). He finds that Thomas murdered the rich young playgirl. (Who's Thomas? He doesn't know, since this character didn't appear until Chapter Seven.) He finds that Inspector Chanceley has disappeared, although he may have been replaced by another policeman, Sergeant Something-or-other. (But why? Was he demoted? Was the Inspector transferred? Was he murdered, when he unwittingly stumbled on the former murderer trying to cover up his crime?) Finally, the novel ends with the hero disappearing off on holiday with the pretty young girl. (Uhh, who was that, exactly? The surfer scans back to Chapter Two, looking for clues, but there's no girl there. Is she someone he ought to know? Has she been in other books in this series? Is she a kind of 'Batgirl' assistant to our hero? The surfer is baffled.)

No. It doesn't work. Murder Mysteries are written in a strict order, and the author expects the reader to read it in the same sequence. Clues are scattered around the text, and when the reader arrives at the conclusion, s/he is expected to sigh, and say to themselves 'Oh yes, of course. I should have got that'. In short, mystery writers don't need surfers. They can't benefit from people who pick up their books, scan a few pages here and there, and then complain that they 'don't get it'. The mystery reader, on the other hand, is someone who likes to see the plot laid out in order; likes to get to know the characters and hear their stories; likes to be thinking about how the book might turn out. That sort of reader wants something to think about and savour, ie the complete opposite of the internet surfer.

The surfer is someone who wants immediate answers. They want information, fun, thrills, excitement, interest - without having to make any sort of effort on their part. They want a reaction now, straightaway. They don't want to have to wait, especially for The Last Chapter. They have the attention span of a gnat and the literary aspirations of a politician. Really, they are completely the wrong sort of person for books, real old-fashioned, written books. The surfer wants Summaries, Synopses, Extracts, Feeds, maybe, but never a whole book. Wow, boring, man.